When we don’t see the results we want, like hitting a weight loss goal, it’s all too easy to blame the outcome on external factors…
I’m never going to figure out what’s happening to my body.
It was too tedious to meal prep and eat healthy.
I was consumed by job stress and didn’t have the bandwidth to focus on anything else.
My family didn’t support me and follow my plan with me, so I couldn’t stick to it.
I’m too far away from my goal, so why bother at all?
And the list of excuses goes on. But, if you do a bit of introspection and reflect on what part YOU may have played in the outcome, you may realize that you – and your misaligned mindset may be behind not attaining your goal!
A negative mindset and negative self-talk are both something you’ve likely engaged in, and it’s hard not to let these both slip into your routine from time to time.
But, when they start showing up on the regular, this can lead to self-sabotage, and ultimately stops you from achieving your goals – including those you’ve may have set for your health.
Signs That You’re Sabotaging Yourself
The tell-tale sign that you’re sabotaging yourself is when you seem to stop even trying to achieve your goals, for no apparent reason. You likely still have the desire and ability to do it, but ‘something’ just stops you from going forward.
The common signs of self-sabotage are:
- Chronic procrastination
- Worry, anger, anxiety
- Feelings of worthlessness
- All-or-nothing/black-or-white thinking
- Unfulfilled goals, including those around health
- Feeling overwhelmed, stuck
So what if that ‘something’ was your negative mindset or having a mindset that simply doesn’t align with who you really are, and what you want to achieve?
Five (5) Ways To Stop Self-Sabotage In All Areas Of Your Life!
Here are five (5) different actionable ways you can change your inner dialogue, encouraging more positive feelings and healthful behaviors to keep you moving forward in your goals.
“You are today where your thoughts have brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you.”
~ James Allen, Author
1. Recognize your self-sabotaging thoughts and behaviors.
It all starts with awareness!
SSS (Stop Self-Sabotage) ACTION: Find some quiet time to jot down any thoughts that come to mind about why you feel (or have felt) a negative emotion or have engaged in negative self-talk, especially as it might relate to your health goal.
You may also want to do this work in a space that feels safe, secure and free of judgment – perhaps with a healer, counselor or coach, especially if you’re prone to self-doubt.
After coming up with a list, ask yourself, “Are these any of these thoughts (or the behaviors they lead to) TRUE?”
2. Release negative thoughts and energy.
I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase before that “everything is energy”…
SSS ACTION: Instead of hanging onto both other people’s AND your own bad energy – why not release it? Because it simply doesn’t serve you, give yourself permission to relinquish ownership, and allow it to dissipate.
3. Develop self-supporting behaviors and show some compassion – to yourself!
Beating yourself up and putting your health low on the priority list will only serve to keep you stuck in the same old negative patterns.
SSS ACTIONS: The next time you find yourself saying, “It’s too hard to lose weight/get fit/reach my health goal – I”ll never be able to do it.”…
First, recognize that yep, it IS challenging to meet many health goals that we set for ourselves!
Then, replace these thoughts and statements with ones about how deserving you are of making your own health a top priority. Something along the lines of, “What is one thing I can do that’s a small step toward taking care of myself?”
Also, taking a moment to reflect on how you would respond to someone who’s going through similar struggles as you, and even writing down your response as a reminder to go easy on yourself more of the time.
Show yourself the same love, compassion and support you would your friends and loved ones.
4. Be mindful of I AM statements, and rephrase
SSS ACTION: From MindBodyGreen:
“When we label ourselves with statements like ‘I’m an emotional eater,’ you become a self-fulfilling prophecy and will continue the behaviour.
Try dropping the -er and changing it to -ing. For example, instead of ‘I’m an emotional eater,’ change the statement to ‘I’m eating for emotional reasons.’
The emotional eating is a behavior. It isn’t who you are.”
When using I AM statements be mindful to always use positive statements. I AM strong. I AM powerful. I AM healthy. Start by catching yourself, and shifting your thoughts throughout the day.
The bottom line is that letting these negative thoughts and behaviors LIMIT YOU is the real consequence of having a negative mindset, and that slip-ups do not spell failure.
As the saying goes – progress, not perfection!
5. Clear your mind every night before bed
SSS ACTION: No matter how your day went, focus on what went right and how you were able to shift your thoughts throughout the day. Then, at bedtime clear everything off, and let go. Visualize your mind being cleared and focus on 5 things that I’m grateful for. I’m grateful for my soft pillow. I’m grateful for my warm blankets. Drift off to sleep with positive thoughts, and when you wake up in the morning state “I wake to joy!” to start your day out right.
MindTools – Beating Self-Sabotage; Recognizing and Overcoming It
MindBodyGreen – This Guide To Overcoming Self-Sabotage Will Help You Become A Better Version Of Yourself
MindBodyGreen – This Could Be The Reason You’re Not Hitting Your Happy Weight